My Quest to End My Breastfeeding Debacle:
What do you get when you Google "Weaning from Breastfeeding?"
We had our good days (when Madison would eat every 2.5 hours, and sleep for 3 at night). She would nap during the day, and would smile a few times as well. Then there were our bad days. She would eat every 1.5 hours, and then scream until it was time to eat again. This would happen until 10:00 at night when she finally fell asleep, for 3 hours. The weekend before Madison's 2 month check up, we were visited by three of our Aunts. I am sorry to say that they witnessed one of Madison's bad days. She was eating every hour to hour and a half, and crying when she wasn't eating. She was also refusing to breastfeed. She couldn't latch on, with or without the nipple shield. We had been having difficulties for the past couple of days, but nothing like this. One of my loving and supportive aunts suggested giving Madison some formula. Now, this was something that had been suggested by numerous other people that I trust and whose opinions that I value (especially my husband and my mother), and a few that I don't (who shall remain nameless), but none of them (especially my husband) had ever breast fed. This advice was coming from someone who had. This aunt had successfully breastfed both of her daughters, and supplemented with formula. I decided to do it.
I started off slow. 3 oz. of breast milk, 1 oz. of formula. She LOVED it, and let me tell you, she slept like a baby (pun absolutely intended). She refused to breastfeed that night, or the next morning. That was when I noticed the white patches on the inside of her cheeks. She had white patches on her tounge and lips, but she had those at our 1 month check up and the doctor said they were just milk residue. My breasts had been incredibly sore, more so than usual. So I looked up Thrush online, and sure enough, we both had the classic systems of this strand of yeast infection. I read the causes of it, and that it was passed to her from my milk. I called the doctor, and they prescribed a medicine for her.
2 days later, I was in excrutiating pain. 800 mg of motrin was no match for the amount of pain I was having. Madison, however, was in heaven. She even woke up in the morning with a smile. No screaming. No crying. Just a happy, satiated baby. I decided there and then that we would completely wean to formula...as long as the doctor agreed. And why wouldn't HE? Because HE is a HE and could not possibly understand what it was like to breastfeed a child. Even though we both had an infection that we kept passing to one another. Even though I was virtually ignoring my other child becuase of breastfeeding, pumping, cleaning, and sanitizing. Even though Madison was misearble 14 hours of the day (the other 10 or so, she was sleeping). Even though she had bad acid reflux. Even though my family history showed that 3 of my moms 8 siblings could not be breastfed due to allergies. With all of this, he still said he would support me continuing to breastfeed. He would support the passing of yeast from me to my child and back again. He would support the excrutiating pain. BUT he would understand if I wanted to wean to formula.
The doctor told me to continue doing what I was doing, IF I really wanted to wean. And I learned that was the normal response. IF you REALLY want to wean. IF you REALLY want to introduce formula. I stupidly did not ask him what I did to wean my boobies. So I did what I always do to find an answer to a question I have. I consult GOOGLE. And what did I get? A website where you can order pro-breastfeeding t-shirts (notice, however, that they are not breastfeeding compatible. They do not have the entrance pockets hidden in them for easy feeding). After sifting through countless links, I FINALLY found one that gave advice on weaning. Finally an article that would tell me the best way to go about doing this. Then I actually read it, and this is what it said:
What do you get when you Google "Weaning from Breastfeeding?"
We had our good days (when Madison would eat every 2.5 hours, and sleep for 3 at night). She would nap during the day, and would smile a few times as well. Then there were our bad days. She would eat every 1.5 hours, and then scream until it was time to eat again. This would happen until 10:00 at night when she finally fell asleep, for 3 hours. The weekend before Madison's 2 month check up, we were visited by three of our Aunts. I am sorry to say that they witnessed one of Madison's bad days. She was eating every hour to hour and a half, and crying when she wasn't eating. She was also refusing to breastfeed. She couldn't latch on, with or without the nipple shield. We had been having difficulties for the past couple of days, but nothing like this. One of my loving and supportive aunts suggested giving Madison some formula. Now, this was something that had been suggested by numerous other people that I trust and whose opinions that I value (especially my husband and my mother), and a few that I don't (who shall remain nameless), but none of them (especially my husband) had ever breast fed. This advice was coming from someone who had. This aunt had successfully breastfed both of her daughters, and supplemented with formula. I decided to do it.
I started off slow. 3 oz. of breast milk, 1 oz. of formula. She LOVED it, and let me tell you, she slept like a baby (pun absolutely intended). She refused to breastfeed that night, or the next morning. That was when I noticed the white patches on the inside of her cheeks. She had white patches on her tounge and lips, but she had those at our 1 month check up and the doctor said they were just milk residue. My breasts had been incredibly sore, more so than usual. So I looked up Thrush online, and sure enough, we both had the classic systems of this strand of yeast infection. I read the causes of it, and that it was passed to her from my milk. I called the doctor, and they prescribed a medicine for her.
2 days later, I was in excrutiating pain. 800 mg of motrin was no match for the amount of pain I was having. Madison, however, was in heaven. She even woke up in the morning with a smile. No screaming. No crying. Just a happy, satiated baby. I decided there and then that we would completely wean to formula...as long as the doctor agreed. And why wouldn't HE? Because HE is a HE and could not possibly understand what it was like to breastfeed a child. Even though we both had an infection that we kept passing to one another. Even though I was virtually ignoring my other child becuase of breastfeeding, pumping, cleaning, and sanitizing. Even though Madison was misearble 14 hours of the day (the other 10 or so, she was sleeping). Even though she had bad acid reflux. Even though my family history showed that 3 of my moms 8 siblings could not be breastfed due to allergies. With all of this, he still said he would support me continuing to breastfeed. He would support the passing of yeast from me to my child and back again. He would support the excrutiating pain. BUT he would understand if I wanted to wean to formula.
The doctor told me to continue doing what I was doing, IF I really wanted to wean. And I learned that was the normal response. IF you REALLY want to wean. IF you REALLY want to introduce formula. I stupidly did not ask him what I did to wean my boobies. So I did what I always do to find an answer to a question I have. I consult GOOGLE. And what did I get? A website where you can order pro-breastfeeding t-shirts (notice, however, that they are not breastfeeding compatible. They do not have the entrance pockets hidden in them for easy feeding). After sifting through countless links, I FINALLY found one that gave advice on weaning. Finally an article that would tell me the best way to go about doing this. Then I actually read it, and this is what it said:
"withdrawing the breast can cause emotional trauma in the baby. Since nursing is not only a source of food for a baby, but a source of security and emotional comfort as well, taking it away can be very disturbing.: There is absolutely no way to explain to a baby why he suddenly can’t nurse anymore."
It took 11 paragraphs of explaining all the reasons to NOT wean, before they would explain how to. I decided to figure it out on my own. So now, two weeks later, as of today, Madison is completly on formula. She doesn't seem to be suffering any attachment issues, and she seems much happier. I still make sure that we cuddle while feeding, and that I talk/sing to her (which with my voice, could be considered abusive) while feeding. She is just as attached to me now as she was 2 weeks ago when we were exclusively breastfeeding. And as I sit her, stewing in my inadequacies of not being able to successfully breastfeed my child, and wondering what detriment I may be doing to her devlopment, I am reminded of something my hospital lactation consultant said to me shortly after our class. She had just finished explaning all the positives of breastfeeding, including that breastfed babies were shown to have slightly higher IQ levels than those that are not. My precocious 4 year old daughter and I were walking through the halls of the hospital talking about our days. The lactation consultant was walking behind us, and Delaney said something profound. The Lactaition consultant later told me that Delaney was one of the smartest, most mature 4 year olds she had ever met, and that she could see what a great connection we had. My response to her? "Not bad for a formula baby, huh!"
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